U.S. healthcare. Because the subject irks me, I should say at the outset that this will perhaps be my most serious post ever. I will try to be as funny as possible in light of that fact, mostly because I too loathe those that drone on about social issues without a shred of humor. I […]Read more "“The Doctor Will Mug You Now”"
Driving can be one of life’s simple pleasures. Cruising down winding country roads with the windows down, your left arm perched languidly on the sill, the sun shining warmly on your face; This is indeed a pleasure-filled experience. Unless you live in the country to begin with, however, getting to this heavenly point means that […]Read more "You Drive. Me Crazy."
Wake up, sleepy head! It’s Sunday! You can now go back to sleep. Now that you have your apartment and a bed to put in it, you are free to lounge around under your freshly-bought covers all day. That is, until someone dares to ring your doorbell, or you wake up to find that it’s […]Read more "The Move – Part 3: The House"
After having secured your apartment, the next task that must be undertaken is restocking it with all of the items that you essentially gave away in the garage sales that were necessary just so you could move here. Sure you could have paid someone thousands of dollars to ruin your furniture and then deliver the […]Read more "The Move – Part 2: IKEA"
So you’ve decided to move to Germany. Regardless if you made the decision on your own, or if you were convinced by the irresistibly seductive portrayal of German life contained within this blog, you’ve made up your mind. Good for you. Not only will you not regret it, I will have another English speaking friend […]Read more "The Move – Part 1: The Apartment"
Ah, spring. As I sit here writing this, the sun is shining, the tulips have bloomed, and the birds are outside my window, sweetly chirping the news, “Frühling ist da! Now get outside and lose some lard, fatty”. As insensitive as they are, the German birds are as right as their bipedal and Birkenstock-bedecked brethren: […]Read more "Gesundheit (Part 2)"
No, someone did not just sneeze. Gesundheit isn’t just something to be said after someone detonates virus-laden spittle from their mouths at 230kph before panic-strickenly checking themselves, and others, for contagious debris. Hardly anything ruins a happy moment faster than your boss – or worse, me – discovering a sticky mess stuck to their cheek […]Read more "Gesundheit (Part 1)"
Having made it through the previous installments, you – my faithful readers (all three of you) and suspicious Bundesamt censors alike – have persevered and have now arrived unsafely and scathed at the continued post about drinking in Germany. So, without further ado, let’s get down to brass tacks and to the central themes of […]Read more "Kein Alcohol ist auch keine Lösung (Part 2)"
Because I don’t want to fall out of the limelight (and what I mean by “limelight” is “two watt flashlight”) that this earmark on the internet affords me, I wanted to publish something in between parts one and two of the posts about imbibing in Deutschland. I live in what is normally a quiet forest […]Read more "The Moat: An Epic Poem For Eve About Love, Fish, Pirates, and…ummm, Moats."
Upon visiting Germany, one of the first things that will happen after you gather your luggage and visit the WC or “die Toilette” (don’t call it a “bath“room or “rest“room: Germans know darn well that you are going in there to neither shower nor nap) is that you will be asked, “Möchtest du etwas trinken?” […]Read more "Kein Alcohol ist auch keine Lösung (Part 1)"