Every language has its idioms that leaves non-native speakers nonplussed. If you are a vacationing German in the US and you hear someone say “It’s raining cats and dogs”, what they mean is “it’s raining really hard”. People’s tabbies and terriers aren’t actually falling from the sky. If they are, then you are probably in […]Read more "It Is Me, Sausage."
Christmas in Germany is every bit as jubilant and joyful as it is in the US. There are differences, however, the most major being that Christmas day here is celebrated on the 24th, not the 25th. “What?!”, you might exclaim. “What would Jesus think? Outrage”! Well, let’s not get carried away. History tells […]Read more "Twas The Night Before Christmas, An American Was In The House…"
As the father of an infant in Germany, everything is hunky-dory while you are still in the hospital. The nurses come whenever you call them, food is brought to you, and newborns anywhere sleep more often than hungover college freshmen during Chem 102. Life is peaceful. Even if you were the one, like I was […]Read more "Deutsch Dads Need Duct Tape"
I was once a hippie. Okay, I was born a little too late to be an actual hippie. Rather, I went through a hippie phase in my late teens. I had long hair. I had a beard. I drove a 1969 VW bus and I really dug The Grateful Dead. Life was groovy, man. Now, […]Read more "The Times They Are A Diaper Changin’"
Eve and I are going to have a baby. Now, I know that this is not unique. As I understand it, people have been been giving birth to babies for eons. Unlike my dad’s story of how he found me under a leaf in a manure pile, I was even once told (thank you, mom) […]Read more "New Parents Are Essentially Pirates"
I recently had a colonoscopy. I had one around seven years ago in the U.S. so – cue inevitable Brokeback inference – this wasn’t my first rodeo. Due to family history, it is (pun intended) relatively important that I go every now and again. As cancer in German translates to “crabs”, having colon cancer literally […]Read more "The Day Humanity Ended."
If you live in Germany, you probably work in Germany. Unless you’re the outdoorsy, competitive, gourmet type and actually enjoy living in the woods so you can challenge the local Wildschwein (wild pigs) for truffles, you probably need a job so that you don’t have to do just that. Work is paramount in Germany and […]Read more "All Work And No Play Makes Jack…An American."
It’s December 1st! Twenty-four more days until Christmas! Okay, twenty-three here as Christmas (Weihnacthen) in Germany is celebrated on the American Christmas Eve. As yesterday was the 1st day of Advent in Germany which heralds the beginning of the holiday season, I thought that I would post one of Eve’s and my older Christmas cards to set […]Read more "Pick A Christmas Card, Any Card."
U.S. healthcare. Because the subject irks me, I should say at the outset that this will perhaps be my most serious post ever. I will try to be as funny as possible in light of that fact, mostly because I too loathe those that drone on about social issues without a shred of humor. I […]Read more "“The Doctor Will Mug You Now”"
Driving can be one of life’s simple pleasures. Cruising down winding country roads with the windows down, your left arm perched languidly on the sill, the sun shining warmly on your face; This is indeed a pleasure-filled experience. Unless you live in the country to begin with, however, getting to this heavenly point means that […]Read more "You Drive. Me Crazy."