Prologue Back in the extreme sport-filled days of my youth in America, I once came across a sticker that depicted a skeleton emblazoned with the words, “You are what I was, I am what you will be”. Always aware of my own mortality even back then, those words stuck with me. We’re all born, and […]
Read more "The Force of Aging"
Depending on your perspective, this post will either be a helpful public service message, or an indulgence in nonsense. Kind of like seatbelt advisements. I fall firmly into the camp of the former on this one, by the way, but some unerringly thumb their noses at sound advice under the guise of freedom, even if […]
Read more "MEDIEVAL MADNESS"
The leaves have all fallen and it’s snowing outside as I write this: It’s December! In what is fast becoming an AAIG tradition, here is a past holiday card from the Geren household to help set the festive mood. No, the irony of my name so closely resembling “German” isn’t lost on me. In fact, […]
Read more "The Weihnachts Ale Tale"
Every language has its idioms that leaves non-native speakers nonplussed. If you are a vacationing German in the US and you hear someone say “It’s raining cats and dogs”, what they mean is “it’s raining really hard”. People’s tabbies and terriers aren’t actually falling from the sky. If they are, then you are probably in […]
Read more "It Is Me, Sausage."
Christmas in Germany is every bit as jubilant and joyful as it is in the US. There are differences, however, the most major being that Christmas day here is celebrated on the 24th, not the 25th. “What?!”, you might exclaim. “What would Jesus think? Outrage”! Well, let’s not get carried away. History tells […]
Read more "Twas The Night Before Christmas, An American Was In The House…"
As the father of an infant in Germany, everything is hunky-dory while you are still in the hospital. The nurses come whenever you call them, food is brought to you, and newborns anywhere sleep more often than hungover college freshmen during Chem 102. Life is peaceful. Even if you were the one, like I was […]
Read more "Deutsch Dads Need Duct Tape"
I was once a hippie. Okay, I was born a little too late to be an actual hippie. Rather, I went through a hippie phase in my late teens. I had long hair. I had a beard. I drove a 1969 VW bus and I really dug The Grateful Dead. Life was groovy, man. Now, […]
Read more "The Times They Are A Diaper Changin’"
Eve and I are going to have a baby. Now, I know that this is not unique. As I understand it, people have been been giving birth to babies for eons. Unlike my dad’s story of how he found me under a leaf in a manure pile, I was even once told (thank you, mom) […]
Read more "New Parents Are Essentially Pirates"
I recently had a colonoscopy. I had one around seven years ago in the U.S. so – cue inevitable Brokeback inference – this wasn’t my first rodeo. Due to family history, it is (pun intended) relatively important that I go every now and again. As cancer in German translates to “crabs”, having colon cancer literally […]
Read more "The Day Humanity Ended."
If you live in Germany, you probably work in Germany. Unless you’re the outdoorsy, competitive, gourmet type and actually enjoy living in the woods so you can challenge the local Wildschwein (wild pigs) for truffles, you probably need a job so that you don’t have to do just that. Work is paramount in Germany and […]
Read more "All Work And No Play Makes Jack…An American."