The Force of Aging

Prologue Back in the extreme sport-filled days of my youth in America, I once came across a sticker that depicted a skeleton emblazoned with the words, “You are what I was, I am what you will be”. Always aware of my own mortality even back then, those words stuck with me. We’re all born, and […]

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MEDIEVAL MADNESS

Depending on your perspective, this post will either be a helpful public service message, or an indulgence in nonsense. Kind of like seatbelt advisements. I fall firmly into the camp of the former on this one, by the way, but some unerringly thumb their noses at sound advice under the guise of freedom, even if […]

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The Weihnachts Ale Tale

The leaves have all fallen and it’s snowing outside as I write this: It’s December! In what is fast becoming an AAIG tradition, here is a past holiday card from the Geren household to help set the festive mood. No, the irony of my name so closely resembling “German” isn’t lost on me. In fact, […]

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It Is Me, Sausage.

Every language has its idioms that leaves non-native speakers nonplussed. If you are a vacationing German in the US and you hear someone say “It’s raining cats and dogs”, what they mean is “it’s raining really hard”. People’s tabbies and terriers aren’t actually falling from the sky. If they are, then you are probably in […]

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Deutsch Dads Need Duct Tape

As the father of an infant in Germany, everything is hunky-dory while you are still in the hospital. The nurses come whenever you call them, food is brought to you, and newborns anywhere sleep more often than hungover college freshmen during Chem 102. Life is peaceful. Even if you were the one, like I was […]

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The Day Humanity Ended.

I recently had a colonoscopy. I had one around seven years ago in the U.S. so – cue inevitable Brokeback inference – this wasn’t my first rodeo. Due to family history, it is (pun intended) relatively important that I go every now and again. As cancer in German translates to “crabs”, having colon cancer literally […]

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